“What role could self-compassion possibly have in the workplace?” 

If you’re asking this question right now, you’re not alone. Even author and researcher Kristin Neff, who wrote the book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, had her own initial skepticism about compassion on-the-job, which she explained in her keynote at the inaugural Emerging Leaders Conference. 

Neff, also the associate professor of educational psychology at University of Texas-Austin, said that she once viewed this attribute as a “weak” emotion, as opposed to self-esteem which she considered more useful and productive in office settings. 

However, as she analyzed the difference between self-compassion and self-esteem, Neff realized that because self-esteem is performance-, success- and achievement-based, too much emphasis on this trait can lead to judgment, perfectionism, social comparison or narcissism in team dynamics.  

Self-compassion, however, is a more sustainable model for overcoming setbacks and building self-confidence. We found that 75 percent of participants, before doing our self-compassion training workshops, indicated ‘about half the time’, ‘fairly often’ and ‘almost always’ to the question: “When times are really difficult, I tend to be tough on myself.” 

These participants then learned that, instead of avoiding emotions or engaging in defensive self-enhancement, self-compassion allows them to lead, learn and grow from a place of warmth and kindness. This mindset provides them with the support they need when feeling inadequate, struggling from the set-back of failure or overwhelmed when things feel out of control.

Instead of getting hung up on mistakes and being tough on ourselves with self-deprecation and judgement, self-compassion helps us focus our energies on progress not perfection. 

This is why self-compassion can turn our inner critic into our inner coach to help us improve and grow.

Neff had similar findings. She discovered that self-compassion builds a framework of responsibility, motivation, camaraderie, satisfaction, kindness and goal orientation since it does not hinge on the pressure to succeed. 

Recent neuroscientific data backs this conclusion too. In fact, those who exhibit compassion are more likely to have the emotional resilience to combat suffering, anxiety, burnout or stress, according to Frontiers in Psychology.     

If you have yet to harness the benefits of self-compassion among your own leadership team, you could be missing out on a crucial, untapped resource that bolsters the ability for leaders to understand and connect with their employees in a way that strengthens the entire organization.

Uncover why self-compassion is an asset for your organization and how to build this into the culture of your leadership team and the company as a whole.   

Self-Compassion Benefits the Team

The basis of self-compassion is a willingness to approach mistakes or setbacks with a curiosity to learn and improve—rather than to exacerbate the issue with criticism and shame. This is a key attribute of leaders, who need to encourage their team while being a role model for showing one another empathy as well. 

When brought into the workplace, leaders can do more than inspire team members. Abira Reizer found that self-compassion indirectly impacts the organization, limiting attachment insecurities. 

In her studies, she discovered that self-compassion drives positivity in the workplace, improving job performance and organizational citizenship behaviors, which refers to the actions and behaviors that are not required from employees, but that benefit the team. Self-compassion was also found to decrease negative experiences, including burnout (emotional exhaustion) and turnover.

In addition to helping successful teams collaborate more effectively, self-compassion can also encourage growth mindset. Serena Chen, professor of psychology and the Marian E. and Daniel E. Koshland Jr. Distinguished Chair for Innovative Teaching and Research at the University of California, Berkeley, defines a growth mindset as the motivation to “work on [your] weaknesses rather than think, ‘What’s the point?’ and to summon the grit required to enhance skills and change habits.” 

Chen found, in her research with Juliana Breines at the University of Rhode Island, a direct correlation between growth mindset and self-compassion. She explains in her Harvard Business Review article that, in her study, some participants were asked to respond to a past mistake with kindness and empathy (self-compassion), while others were asked to redirect the focus to their positive qualities (self-esteem). 

Those who practiced self-compassion were more likely not to repeat the same mistake in the future than those who concentrated on self-esteem. Her research indicates that when team members are compassionate, growth mindset is reinforced, which enables team members to improve, both on their own and together.  

Self Compassion Characteristics

One of the characteristics of a self-compassionate person is the awareness that mistakes and personal failure are part of the shared human experience—whether you’re a leader or not. Each one of us, at some time in our lives, make mistakes or experience setbacks and failures. Understanding this builds the foundation for one of the most important norms essential to team success—psychological safety. 

As detailed in Google’s Project Aristotle Research, when there is psychological safety, which means team members feel safe and understood by others, they’re more likely to speak up about challenges, share innovative ideas, and take risks when implementing solutions.

We’ve seen this happen again and again at our workshops where teams were taught to listen to understand versus listen to reply. We also call this “listening compassionately,” in which team members share challenges and opinions they didn’t feel safe to share before. We find that they soon realize they want the same things as their colleagues: to do what’s best for the team and the company. And the whole team starts to connect, understand the bigger picture, and support one another in succeeding. 

At the end of the day, if leadership comes from a place of self-compassion, the company benefits financially. Rasmus Hougaard and Jacqueline Carter, co-authors of The Focus of a Mindful Leader, surveyed more than 1,000 business leaders from more than 800 organizations and found that when leaders exhibit compassion, their employees tend to be more collaborative, trusting and committed to the business. 

This mindset and trust can translate to a 15 percent increase in retention, which can yield almost $40,000 more in annual revenue for a 50-person organization, according to the co-authors’ survey.

Self-Compassion Benefits the Leader

Self-compassion doesn’t just benefit the team. It benefits the leader as a person. Some of the powerful mindset shifts leaders might experience include:

• Happiness

• Optimism

• Positive affect

• Wisdom

• Personal initiative

• Curiosity and exploration

• Agreeableness

• Conscientiousness

• Extroversion

You may be wondering how to facilitate this powerful mindset shift in your leadership team and one of the tools we find valuable is journaling. When faced with a setback, challenge or opportunity, we get leaders to write a letter to themselves from a close mentor or friend: “What would they say to you about the challenges or opportunities you are facing?” 

The leader then chooses a close friend or mentor who knows them, understands them and wants the best for them. Through journaling from this perspective, leaders not only see things from a compassionate perspective, but they learn a lesson and uncover insights they need to move past the setback or challenge. This exercise also helps them increase their level of resilience to out-create their challenges. 

How to Develop Self-Compassion in Leadership Teams

Developing self-compassion in leadership teams takes time and intentional effort. Organizations must dedicate time and resources to training so leaders and their employees can learn how to implement self-compassion strategies in the workplace. 

Here are a few areas to focus on as you look to potential learning and training opportunities for your organization.

Give Everyone a Learning Stipend 

A learning stipend allows leaders and employees to engage in self-paced learning, based on their interests around self-compassion and preferred learning styles. This benefits them and the company as a whole, according to a 2018 LinkedIn report, which found that 94 percent of employees who have access to continuous learning are satisfied in their roles and feel invested in by their companies. Yet, another study from the e-learning platform edX.org found that almost 50 percent of employees are uncomfortable asking for educational resources. 

Remove this barrier and create space in the budget for everyone to receive a quarterly or annual learning stipend. This would allow them to purchase books, attend conferences, and enroll in webinars or courses for self-compassion. 

Provide a Hands-On Workshop in the Office

Hands-on, in-office training is another option for teaching self-compassion. Bringing this learning into the office makes it easier to associate the techniques and mindset shifts with the office space. What’s more, employees are able to access personal development that benefits them at home and in their role, which shows that the company supports their growth.

Meditation training is a valuable tool for learning self-compassion. The Mindfulness Journal notes that if combined with an attentive focus on kindness, gratitude, acceptance and non-judgement, meditation can be used as a tool to harness self-compassion. 

The programs we offer at M Meditation help organizations like yours facilitate self-compassion training through mindfulness practices that can be immediately applied and practiced in the workplace environment. Based on mindfulness, neuroscience and emotional intelligence, leaders, and teams receive training and tools to help them:

• increase their resilience to stay calm and centered in the midst of changes and transitions

• gain more control over their reactions to negative or unpleasant experiences

• access emotions in a positive way that enables them to make helpful decisions and choose the most contributive response

• nurture a more meaningful connection with their work

• develop greater camaraderie with their colleagues 

… And so much more! Book your workshop or tell us about how you think mindfulness training might be valuable to your team by getting in touch today.

Invest in Access to Mental Health Resources

Prioritize the emotional wellness of employees and leaders by offering Employee Assistance Programs (EAP), which make counseling sessions, treatment referrals and other mental health services financially accessible. As employees use self-compassion to better themselves, they may need more resources to help them work through the challenges and insights that come up. Supporting them in managing these mental health aspects of self-compassion is critical.

Learn more about AEP and its benefits from The Center for Workplace Mental Health.

Prioritize Developing Self-Compassion in Leadership Teams

Now is the time to focus on developing self-compassion in leadership teams, putting resources, budget and focus behind efforts to help develop this. With the right support, you can improve revenue, employee happiness and so much more. 

Crowdsourcing the collective wisdom:

How do you develop self-compassion in your leadership team?

Share with us in the comments below!

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